Going Home


Three weeks from today I will have just landed in London. Actually, in two weeks, 6 days, and 22 hours. I have trouble finding words to express how important this is to me. I've been an anglophile for as long as I can remember, raised on The Vicar of Dibley and Flying Circus, and when my sister and I played as children we more often than not used English accents. I've just always had a pull to that culture and that part of the world. When I finally made it to the UK for the first time at 13 I immediately felt at home. Every flight over there since has felt like putting things back in their proper place.


Right now especially, I could use some mise en place. The last six months have been full of many different kinds of upheaval, and I realize I have felt pretty removed from myself for quite a while. I'm making steady moves to get back in touch with my self and my center (more on that soon) but it will help tremendously to return to a place where I have an innate feeling of placement and familiarity, and to visit my father and dear friends who live there.


As someone who has moved a lot, loves to travel, and is building a house, I spend a lot of my time thinking about "home." I've never been homesick. I've never felt particularly attached to any of my dwellings. I have never experienced the classically defined sense of home. I love to explore and can find merit in most every place I go, and I think that largely this benefits me, the perfect recipe for a consistently happy camper. But this roaming way of life only really works if your rooted self, the foundation you can count on, is a strong spiritual and mental one, and lately for me it hasn't been. I still want the same things but have felt like I'm ghosting several inches to the side of where I really stand. My roots are all still there but I'm not currently connected to them. When I was 13 and first visited Scotland, I remember writing in my journal frequently during the months after that I had left at least part of my heart there. I still feel that same ache every time I leave, and I know it will do my soul immeasurable good to be back in the place where part of my heart dwells.


Here's to finding your roots, whether you find them in a physical place or carry them within. Here's to the foundation from which you grow. Here's to home.

#travel #london #personal

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